He Makes Me Lie Down In Green Pastures... or Not | Part 4

Okay, so we know even if we obey the Word, if we step out in faith like Peter did after we make sure it's Jesus calling us out of the boat - the storms are still going to come. Things are not just going to immediately calm down. In fact everything I've read tells me the storms are going to rage even more, the situation is going to get worse, the kids are going to act even more like the devil with a blue dress on, and it is definitely NOT going to be easy! So now what?

Philippians 4:19 MSG You can be sure that God will take care of everything you need, his generosity exceeding even yours in the glory that pours from Jesus. 

Now what indeed! Now you begin to find out what it means to tie a knot in the rope and hold on. Now you begin to learn what it was like in the days of Paul and Silas to have to pray at midnight and sign praises at midnight. I'm not just talking about midnight being a time of day, but I'm talking about midnight as in the darkest hour of your day, your week, your life ... you get the picture.

Now what ... is we learn to stand as we are commissioned to do in Ephesians 6:13. It tells us "having done all [the crisis demands], stand! What do I mean by stand? I mean just what I said. Stand - in faith. Stand, knowing God is still God regardless of what the situation looks like. Stand, knowing God is still in control regardless of what the medical report says. Stand, knowing God still has plans to prosper you -not to harm you- and bring you to a good end.

Take heart, my sweet friend. It isn't all storms and tsunamis when you walk with God! There are daily benefits of operating in His plan - of letting it be all about Him.

My husband's income was adversely (putting it very lightly) affected (as was most of the nation) by the events of September 11, 2001. He is an aircraft broker. Private and even corporate aviation took a major hit after 9/11, and for some reason it seemed to hit us harder than some of our industry friends.

We began to see businesses around us pick up and rebuild - but not ours. Oh, we sold an airplane every now and then - in fact we appeared to have moved into that land of "just enough." We would sell an airplane and make "just enough" to meet the bills until we could sell another one. It seemed to always be "just enough." What in the world was wrong? What were we doing wrong? I prayed. I fasted. I sent our names in to every prayer request list I could find and still nothing happned. "Lord, what am I doing wrong?" I prayed. I received no answers (a lesson learned during all of this is the teacher is always silent during a test!).

I felt like Paul when he said "I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty." I can tell you, it's better when you're living in plenty! What I haven't mastered but am working on is the rest of the verse that says..."I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want." You can laugh if you want, but it's really hard to have living in the land of "more than enough" for years and years and then all of a sudden find yourself not only in want but in need. I mean there were times we needed grocery money. We needed money to pay our electric bill and our phone bill and money to pay for our son's lunch at school. 

But God is good ... all of the time. And, He will supply your need - and mine.

He Makes Me Lie Down In Green Pastures... or Not | Part 3 Hairballs

Have you ever been so frustrated, so angry, felt so lost that you didn't know where to go or what to do next? Maybe you don't have a LizFranc fracture or some other physical thing going on, but when things don't seem to be going your way do you find yourself wanting to scream out like I did in the last chapter? It's okay, you know. Our Father knows how frustrated we get, and He knows and expects us to not like it. After all, He created us ... and get this ... He created us in His image! So I wonder does that mean He gets frustrated too? Well, I think He must. In fact, I know He does. 

Go back and re-read the story of Noah and why God was destroying the world. You can also go back to the stories of Abraham and Lot and Sodom and Gomorrah. I'd say yes, He gets frustrated with us humans. All through the story of Moses and the children of Israel, we read where time and time again God was angry with the children of Israel. Yet when they repented and called on Him, He forgave them and delivered them from their troubles.

So...I repented for being angry with God, and I repented for screaming at Him (yep, I really did literally scream out those things I said I felt like screaming). Then I waited and listened.

"And there came an angel of the LORD, and sat under an oak which was in Ophrah, that pertained unto Joash the Abiezrite: and his son Gideon threshed wheat by the winepress, to hide it from the Midianites. And the angel of the LORD appeared unto him, and said unto him, The LORD is with thee, though mighty man of valour. And Gideon said unto him, Oh my Lord, if the LORD be with us, why then is all this befallen us? and where be all his miracles which our fathers told us of, saying, Did not the LORD bring us up from Egypt? but now the LORD hath forsaken us, and delivered us into the hands of the Midianites. And the LORD looked upon him, and said, Go in this thy might, and thou shalt save Israel from the hand of the Midianites: have not I sent thee? And he said unto him, Oh my Lord, wherewith shall I save Israel? behold, my family is poor in Manasseh, and I am the least in my father's house." Judges 6:11-15 KJV

The story of Gideon and his reign as judge over Israel in Chapters 6 through 8 has been near to my heart for many years. Like many of you who are reading these words, I feel totally inadequate to do what God has called me to do. Not only do I feel inadequate, but like Gideon when God called me to ministry, I said, "But God, how can I minister to anybody? I am the least useable in my family, and although my Dad is a minister - he's just a minister. It's not like he's some super-preacher on TV or pastors a mega church. He's just one of your ministers. Besides I need too much ministering to myself to be trying to minister to someone else." Then God spoke to my heart and said, "I know you can't, but I can - through you." So I argued more, "But look at me. I'm not beautiful like Paul White or Judy Jacobs. It's not like I've got some amazing talent like Karen Wheaton or Cece Winans. I'm not even young at this point. Even those ministers today that aren't labeled "beautiful" in the world's eyes ... At least they've already been doing this for years. They started young and have built their ministry over many years. It's rather late for me to be starting out, don't you think? I was young, but now I am old!" And again God spoke to my heart and said, "You are not old! Moses was 80 when I called him to deliver the children of Israel, and Sarah was 90 when she gave birth to Isaac. You're nowhere near that old, so get over it." The more excuses I came up with, the more He reminded me of His word. So finally I relented and said, "Yes, Lord."

Then it began to hit me. It began to really hit me.I had just agreed to minister to God's people. The Bible says when someone has been given much, much will be required in return, and when someone has been entrusted with much, even more, will be required. To me that means if I'm given a ministry, which in my mind is MUCH, then God is going to require MUCH of me in return! Haaaaaacgh! (No, I didn't go to sleep on my keyboard. That's what it sounds like when a cat coughs up a hairball. Got it?  By the way, that's not my original noise. I hear it on a regular basis from someone very dear to me that God has allowed me to minister to. When I say something she doesn't necessarily want to hear ... I get that cat with a hairball sound!) Even now just thinking about God requiring MUCH of me makes shivers run up and down my spine. 

So then I'm thinking if I'm willing to obey Him, do my utmost to please Him, go where He wants me to go and stay where He wants me to stay ... my life should be pretty good, right? WRONG! It doesn't work that way. James 1:2 tells us not only will there be trials and tribulations, but we are to count it joy when they come! Haaaaaacgh! I don't know what you get out of that verse but to me if the Bible says "when trials and tribulations come" - that means they are probably already on the way! It also means there is definitely much required here, because I find it really difficult to count it all joy when I'm in the middle of a war - especially when it seems I'm the primary target of the artillery! And yet, He wants me to count it all joy! I'm the target of all the ammunition - and I'm supposed to be happy with it! Haaaaaacgh!

He Makes Me Lie Down In Green Pastures... or Not | Part 2 The Merry Go Round

Ah yes, the green pastures. Green never was my favorite color!

With four screws and two pins in my foot I was going nowhere fast! On the four month anniversary of the break they would perform surgery again to remove the four screws. Then the rehabilitation began (in more than one way)!

My next thought was "Great. Okay, God, your Word said Get up, for God has given you victory. I got up and fell down and broke my foot! So where are you in this? Exactly how am I supposed to minister in missions with a broken foot? It's not like they have handicap-friendly facilities in Ukraine where you called me to work. So now what? I obeyed your Word, and look where I am!

Being made to lie down when there's so much work to be done is not an easy place to be in. Somehow even then I knew that God had allowed me to be in that place for a purpose. I just wish I wasn't so hard headed that God had to "knock me down" to get my attention. Sometimes I feel like I must be forever cast in that TV series "NCIS." You know, the one where the boss (character name Gibbs) is always popping his subordinates on the back of the head when they say somethiung stupid or do something they should know better than to do. Maybe as you read this you will learn your lesson (if you haven't already), and it won't take such drastic measures from God to get your attention. If I can offer some advice right here - don't be stubborn like me. Don't close your ears to what God is speaking to your heart. After awhile it really hurts to get popped on the back of the head by the "boss."

Another scripture jumped off the page at me. Actually, this one jumped off and did somersaults! Take a look at Psalm 23:2. "He makes me lie down in green pastures; he leads me beside still waters." It took me a while (I can be rather dense sometimes), but I realized God made me lie down - in the pastures. I'm not so sure they were green, but I was definitely laying down. And the waters ... oh yeah, the waters were definitely still - like dead still - like nothing was happening.

This story didn't start with the "Get up" word though. It started about three months prior when God just brought it to my remembrance one day that seven is His number of completion, and the battle my family had been fighting for the past several years would soon end. He dropped it in my spirit that eight is the number of new beginnings, and 2008 would be the beginning of a new thing. In fact He revealed things to me that I have yet to share with anyone because they are just too amazing to utter. I did write some of them down, and I even shared some of them with my husband, George and then with my parents. The day all of this flooded my brain (and my heart) ... well, I had church all by myself in my kitchen! It was awesome!

Oh, okay, so you're reading this and thinking how weird I am to have had "church" all by myself in my kitchen. Let me ask you something. If you were all by yourself in your kitchen and your phone rang and Ed McMahon was on the other end of the phone and told you that you had just won the Readers Digest Sweepstakes - you know like $5,000 a week for the rest of your life. I ask you how would you react? Would you be calm and cool and say, "Oh, thank you. That's good news." Really!? Give me a break! You would be just like those people they show on TV - jumping all around, shaking your head, pinching yourself to confirm you were awake. Then you would get on the phone or maybe in the car and find someone to share the news with, right?? Well!

After my church service in the kitchen - there were confirmations. We had not one but several visiting ministers at our church who confirmed His word for me. They called me out of the congregation and told me things like, "God says He is doing a new thing in you. Wait for it." They urged me to "hold on" because God was going to take what the enemy meant for harm and turn it around and use it for my good. I had "words" and confirmations from everywhere. Yet ... nothing NOTHING was happening. I didn't see new things happening - except for new battles. The more we stand in faith, the harder it gets to stand. So I was standing on one leg! Most of the time I wasn't even standing - I was sitting in the wheelchair! I just wanted to scream, "WHERE ARE YOU, GOD? WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

I prayed, and I cried and I begged God "just tell me what it is I'm supposed to be learning through all of this. I promise I'll write it down and memorize it and put it into practice. Just please stop this merry-go-round so I can get off." It seemed the more I begged for it to stop - the faster the merry go round spun.

He Makes Me Lie Down In Green Pastures... or Not

Judges 7:15 NLT
When Gideon heard the dream and its interpretation, he worshiped God. He returned to the camp of Israel and called out, "Get up! The LORD has given the Midianite camp into your hands."

A few years ago I was reading my daily devotional when the words of Judges 7:15 just sort of jumped off the page at me. My husband, George, and I had been going through a deep dark valley that appeared to have morphed from a valley into the Grand Canyon. When I shared that thought with George, he said he had just heard on the news they were going to flood the Grand Canyon. Doesn't that just figure! But I was so excited about this Word that nothing could get me down ...or so I thought!

There I was ... called to be a minister in missions, called to walk away from my employment of 16 years leaving benefits, salary, everything to walk in real faith with Him. I got out of the boat like Peter and was spiritually walking on water. In the natural realm, all hell had broken loose, but I will unpack that for you in just a minute.

This day, the day Judges 7:15 jumped off the page I was energized, I was encouraged, I was on a spiritual high. I couldn't wait to call George and share my revelation with him. I called my family and shared. I shared with my spiritual daughter when she called to check in, and I shared with everyone I saw and talked to for the next two days. I even shared it at our church staff meeting, and I didn't stop there. I shared it at our church at our Wednesday night service. Then Friday came. (Note to self - keep your mouth shut unless God specifically tells you to shout it from the rooftops!)

Yeah, Friday hit me. You know the story of the crucifixion - Jesus was crucified on Friday ... Friday was the bad day. My Friday arrived on Saturday morning at 5:30 am!

Several years prior I had been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and several accompanying disorders which can and do cause intense muscle spasms. That Saturday morning the spasms hit hard and fast with no advance warning. It woke me in the rudest way. I jumped up and stood beside the bed trying to relax the spasm out of my thigh. It finally relented, and I began to crawl back into bed when it hit again - harder and faster. This time my leg locked up, and I couldn't move. I blacked out momentarily and fell to the floor. When I hit the floor between the bed and the wall it jolted me "awake", and I began calling for George. Immediately I realized my right foot was turned in an unnatural position and was up under the bed. It had already begun to swell, and I knew that I knew, without a doubt, it was broken. To sum up the next few hours that turned into days, George took me to the Emergency Room where they confirmed my foot was broken and had some "mangled" bones in the top of it. They splinted my foot and said the orthopedic surgeon would have to determine the best course of action for the "mangled" part.

I saw the orthopedic surgeon on Thursday and was told I had a severe LizFranc fracture. I had surgery the following Monday. They said I would have to be completely off my foot for a minimum of four months. I had four screws and two pins in my foot and could move only with the aid of crutches, a walker, and a wheelchair!

Welcome to green pastures!

God Moves in a Mysterious Way

God moves in a mysterious way His wonders to perform;

He plants His footsteps in the sea and rides upon the storm.

Deep in unfathomable mines with never-failing skill, He treasures up His bright designs,

and works His sovereign will.

Ye fearful saints, fresh courage take; The clouds ye so much dread

are big with mercy, and shall break in blessings on your head.

Judge not the Lord by feeble sense, But trust Him for His Grace;

Behind a frowning providence, He hides a smiling face.

His purposes will ripen fast, unfolding every hour;

The bud may have a bitter taste, but sweet will be the flower.

Blind unbelief is sure to err and scan His work in vain;

God is His own interpreter, and He will make it plain.

by William Cowper

How many times have you seen God move in a mysterious way? If you're like me - the times have been countless. So many times I want so badly to understand His ways, but they're so far above me I cannot even begin to comprehend. 

I'm sure the disciples wanted to understand His ways, too. Matthew 14:22-27 is a prime example of His ways being so far above ours.  Jesus knew when He told the disciples to get in the boat and go to the other side of the lake ... He knew there was a storm brewing (He was Jesus, after all). He knew the disciples were going to face a huge battle, and He knew they would doubt; they would be afraid; they would mumble; they would wonder where He was. He knew all of that ... and He sent them anyway. Why? Ah, that little word ... it plagues our minds so often - or at least it does mine!

Sure enough, the storm that was brewing erupted into a massive storm. I often think of it being like a hurricane or maybe even a typhoon. I've been in both, and I can testify that neither are fun. The storm rocked their boat, flapped their sails and tossed them around like ragdolls. 

SIDEBAR:  Are you in the middle of a storm? I am! Are you waiting for a billboard to let you know God's still on your side? Me, too! Guess what?! Even with the signs (which I've been getting a lot of) - there's still the fear factor! Really! We've been in this funk all of this calendar year. I have screamed (inwardly) "Where are you, God? Did you just leave us in this mess to drown? Don't you care about us anymore?" And yet there are signs - literally. From out of nowhere, I will get a post from somebody that basically says "hold on". Somebody new will follow me on Instagram, and all of a sudden there's another post that says "God's got this." Or even better there will be one that tells me not to fear, not to doubt - that everything is turning around and there will be abundance and overflow! And I'm sitting here like "When, God, when?" 

Just like the disciples, I doubt. I fear. I cry. I throw a fit, I accuse God of not caring. And just like on the other side of the lake that stormy night He comes to me and says "it is I, be not afraid." 

Yes, His ways are mysterious. We will never understand them on this side of heaven, but be assured my sweet friends, He cares and will not let us down.

My New Name

You know how sometimes you just read the Bible, and then there are times you READ the Bible? It's usually times like the latter when we get a real revelation. I did that this morning. 

It started in Phil 1:6 (which has been my life scripture for as long as I can remember). 
I am sure that the good work God began in you will continue until he completes it on the day when Jesus Christ comes again. (ERV) So...I'm a work in progress until the day Jesus returns. For that matter, so are you! We won't be perfected until that day. In other words, we need a LOT of work! Hmmm...what about the ones who have died? Are they just sleeping until that day because they were already finished? God was through perfecting them? So...maybe they didn't need as much work as I do? (or you?)  Leave me a comment at the bottom of this page if this speaks to you. Share your thoughts with me.

As I continued to read I was reminded of something else. Not only am I a work in progress that won't be completed until Jesus returns ... but God's got a new name for me. I won't be Ruth or Lyne ... when God says He makes all things new - He makes all things new. Thank goodness! We'll have a new home, a new body (whew), a new life (awesome) and a new name!

Rev. 2:17  (CEV) To everyone who wins the victory, I will give some of the hidden food. I will also give each one a white stone with a new name written on it. No one will know that name except the one who is given the stone.

Is that cool or what? I had to stop long enough to think about the hidden food - that refers (according to my Concordance) to when the people of Israel were going through the desert, the Lord provided a special food (manna) for them. Aaron placed some of it in a jar and stored in the sacred chest (Exodus 16). According to later Jewish teaching, the prophet Jeremiah rescued the sacred chest when the temple was destroyed by the Babylonians. He hid the chest in a cave, where it would stay until God came to save his people.

So what about the white stone? Nothing I could find really defined it exactly. It is believed by some that it may be kind of like a ticket that gets the bearer into God's banquet where the "hidden food" is eaten. Immediately I thought of the "new name" as God's own special password for me. Yeah, I'm geeky like that. But, isn't that dope!? I mean God is so in love with you (and me) that He is saving the best for last!

Once we faithfully get through all that we are going through on this earth - He makes all things new - even our name! He's got a special one just for you - just for me. I like to think of it like a password - something He's thought of especially for each one of us. AND ... "no one will know that name except the one who is given the stone."

Wow! That's all. Just WOW!

Love - what does it mean to REALLY love someone?

The following statement really hit me between the eyes this week. Maybe it doesn't convict you or make you stomp on the brakes of life, but it did me. And I just have to share how it spoke to me.

Love means this: I accept you, and I embrace you just as you are.

It is not my job or desire to try to change you.

If you are constantly looking to people for approval - or even for correction, you have positioned them in a place they were never designed to be.

Humans cannot be God. (Aren't you glad?) They cannot be the Holy Spirit. A good friend will sit with you and gently direct you towards hearing God's voice on your own and will champion whatever that voice says to you.

And when you feel like you just want to love someone enough to try and change them, remember they don't need YOU to be God. They need Jesus. That's it. The end.

LOVE IS NOT A TOOL TO CHANGE PEOPLE.

IT NEVER HAS BEEN.

IT NEVER WILL BE.

THE GOAL OF THE GOSPEL IS NOT TO CHANGE PEOPLE.

Whaaaaaat, you say? Just hear me out.

There is a beautiful story in scripture (John 20:19-23) that describes Jesus' encounter with his "friends" (i.e.: disciples). He had just re-appeared to them after being dead for three days, after the crucifixion.

Remember the context: his friends had left him in his time of need, rejected him and completely forgotten what he had told them. If there was ever a time for Jesus to call out his friends on their perceived bad decisions. THIS WAS THE TIME.

What stand out in this story (and what I am totally awed by) is what he said and what he did NOT say.

His first words to them were: peace be with you.

Notice what he did NOT say.

He did NOT say:

Uhhh, hello??? Where were you on FRIDAY WHEN I WAS LITERALLY BEING KILLED?

Or,

Why are you hiding in here? What do you think you're doing? Why aren't you out there telling people to get saved???

Or,

Did you not listen to a SiNGLE WORD I SAID OT YOU? I told you a MiLLION times I would RISE ON THE THIRD DAY???

No. No. No. No.

In this moment, Jesus did not shame. He did not condemn. He did not correct. He did not "fix" his friends into being better followers of him, or to be better ambassadors of his message.

Peace be with you.

He wanted them to be at peace.

Even in their mistakes.

Even in their failures.

He then did something we rarely do: He exposed His wounded parts; he invited them to come close to touch and feel them.

This was in part to show them it was really him, but I also see an amazing moment of vulnerability. Instead of exposing their brokenness, he exposed his own. He exposed the human parts of him that were still healing. And then, in the perfect moment, he spoke to them about forgiveness.

His focus was to:

1. Bring peace to his friends
2. Be vulnerable with them
3. Extend forgiveness

He did not:

1. Shame or condemn them
2. Correct their behavior
3. Expose their failures

CAN I JUST SAY - THIS IS WHY I'M OBSESSED WITH HIM??

In our greatest moments of failure or shame, this is the response we long for from our friends.

This is where we feel the most loved and most protected.

Can you imagine what a difference our churches would experience if instead of frantically trying to fix and save each other, we simply embraced this??

Jesus was about freedom inside of our messes. Grace without limitations. And the beauty of being loved and chosen when we don't deserve it.

It's easy to condemn.
It's brave to extend grace.

It's easy to shame.

It's brave to listen with an intent to understand.

I don't know how we've gotten so far from the message...regardless, I've resettled there.

Through all of this life's valleys and mountaintops, this is now my definition of a brave and holy friendship:

1. They are not afraid to sit with me in my pain, grief or failure until I find my way out.
2. They do not try to fix or correct me - they trust God to do that.
3. They protect/cover the areas I am vulnerable in.
4. They guard my story.
5. They are vulnerable with me, and I am safe to be vulnerable with them without fear of judgment or shame.

When you are hurting, this is the kind of friend you want and need.

And ... when you extend this kind of friendship to others, you are crafting something sacred; people may just feel a little bit like they encountered Jesus after being with you.

I've received some compliments in my day ... but the greatest compliment I ever received (and I'll never forget it) was when I was told "I can tell you've been with Jesus."

Can they tell you've been with Jesus? When you say you love someone ... what does it really mean?