Don't Quit

I know it feels like the weight of the world is on your shoulders and that it really doesn't matter if the dishes are done or that no one really cares that you were up half the night or that you are often overlooked. I know you sit in the car and put your head on the steering wheel and while the tears roll down your face. I know that sometimes you just want to throw in the towel and whisper (or scream) that you've had enough of all of this.

I know. I know because I have felt that way - and more than a few times.

I remember sitting in the bathroom behind the door with my head in my hands thinking that I couldn't do this whole Job (yeah, like Job in the Bible) thing any more and that I really didn't matter or make a difference and that I would never ever catch up on all the tasks on my plate - which, by the way, I've never really caught up on. And because I've felt that way (today) I'm writing to tell you that you, right now, matter more than you might ever realize.

There have been and will be days that are hard. Weeks that are hard. Months that are hard.

But, you can do this. I know you can.

You can pick yourself up, brush off the words that cut you to the bone by people you thought cared about you, and you can make it today. Though the pain overcomes your body, and your mind doesn't function like it once did. You can make it.

I know because I'm sitting here with the pain of multiple immune disorders running throughout my body, shingles from my forehead to the back of my neck, chemo sores burning up and down both legs and my head all but completely shaved due to a combination of chemo, stress and other medications. But, I refuse to quit.

Quitting means stopping. And you (I, we) don't stop.

A wise friend of mine once told me that we only fail when we quit, and he's right.

Adulthood doesn't look anything like I imagined when I was a young girl. It doesn't always look like great kids, a great house, enviable cars and money to spend on wonderful vacations. Those times are there (for some). But seriously, listen to me, those things don't make a life. Those things, while they are wonderful when you have them, they don't really matter in the life journey. Do you know what does matter? YOU. Right now, reading these words. So, don't quit.