Wednesday's Word

God is doing a new thing.

Can you sense it?

May you lean in and listen

to that still small voice

and take your next steps

with a heart of faith and

expectancy.

May Jesus Himself give

you a fresh vision for

what breakthrough looks

like so you will not lose

heart or give up when it

seems the battle rages on.

Soon, and very soon, you 

will see and know that His

promises are true for you.

Strengthen yourself in the

Lord today.

Remind yourself who you

are and whose you are.

Recite His promises and

rehearse His faithfulness.

He's been good and He'll

be good again.

Walk forward in faith.

God bless you, my friend.

Tuesday's Pause

Father in heaven, I pause from my regular routine, and I look to you. Fan the flame within me, Lord! Restore life to the gifts you've imparted to me! Open my eyes to see evidences of your glory everywhere I turn. Put faith in my heart to step out, to be a necessary miracle in somebody's life today. And as I wait for my own personal breakthroughs, work through me to help someone else break through to their next place of promise. I love you, Lord. I need you every hour. And I have you every moment of every hour. Truly I am blessed. Amen

He Makes Me Lie Down In Green Pastures... or Not | Part 5

Just because God says He will supply your need - it doesn't mean He will supply it in the way you've been accustomed to - and certainly not in your time frame! We are living proof of that. Weeks went by after I broke my foot, and there was no income. George was still recuperating from his stroke (that he had while I was on the mission field in Ukraine), and I couldn't do anything - not even consulting work because of my severely broken foot. We found ourselves in dire need. The mortgage holder on our house wasn't getting any friendlier. The electric company didn't believe in "my God shall supply all your need", and the phone company wasn't buying "God is good all of the time." 

But ... God is good ... all of the time! His Word IS true. He provided. Not always "more than enough", but He provided just enough - and not in the way we thought He would. It didn't come from airplane sales. For the longest time every time George had an inquiry on an airplane it would "go south" before it would get to the closing date. Frustrated?? You don't know frustrated until you've walked a mile in my shoes! Look at this. We're praying. We're sowing (even when we don't have it to sow). We're fasting. We're doing everything the Bible tells us to do - and it's not working for us! We're not seeing the harvest. We're sowing, but we're not reaping. Something is wrong with this picture! 

But God spoke to my heart, to my spirit and said, "Trust me." I wailed and beat the arms of my wheelchair, "But I do trust you, God. You know I do." He whispered, "Don't worry then. Just stand firm. Stay focused on me."

I don't know if you're well versed on phobias or not, but I suffer from algophobia (fear of pain and/or discomfort). I am so serious right now! I really have a fear of being "uncomfortable." I NEED to be in my comfort zone. Panic attacks are not fun - and that's what happens when I get out of my comfort zone.

I want to take you back - way back - before the beginning of this part of my life. 

Before I stepped out in faith.
Before I got out of the boat.
Before I said, "Yes, Lord."

I said a lot of "no, Lord", "not me, Lord." In fact I ran just as hard as I could from God for years and years and then some more years.

I was born into a family of ministers. My Papa was a minister, my Dad was a minister. Both Mama and Mother worked side by side with their husbands their entire lives - giving up everything to work in the harvest field. They lived in houses they didn't own with furniture they didn't choose. What they owned was the clothes on their backs. I wanted NOTHING to do with that. I didn't want to live in foreign lands, eating foreign food, abiding by foreign laws all for the sake of the gospel. Nope, not me. I didn't want it - not for me and certainly not for my children. I didn't want to give up my comfort bubble. 

What I wanted didn't seem to matter to God. You know as well as I do that God never leaves us in our comfort zone. He will always stretch us, and we cannot be stretched while sitting in our cushy seat being fat and sassy in our comfort zone.

So...here we were. George was recuperating from a stroke -which happened while I was doing what God called me to do - missions - in yep, you guessed it, a foreign land. And...I was in a wheelchair with a severely broken foot. I have stepped "out of the boat" to answer God's call. There's no income. The bank account is almost empty. My "retirement" fund is now zeroed out.

We held on. We went to church. We prayed. We cried. We said, "Why, God?" We said, "What do you want from us?" But there was no answer - 
just silence.
Remember what I said about the teacher being silent during the test? Well, He was! But He did send messengers by that let us know He was still in control. He might have chosen not to speak to us through words, but He was certainly speaking through deeds!

I'll never forget rolling my wheel chair to the back of the church and thinking "Ok, what are we going to eat this week? There's no money in the account now. We've got to at least feed James. What are we to do?" About that time one of our dearest friends at church walked up to shake my hand. When I put my hand in his and pulled it back there was something in my hand. O man - did my heart ever skip a beat! I just knew there was money in my hand. I slipped it into my purse (yes, without looking) and waited for George to put me in the car. Once there and out of the church parking lot I began digging in that purse! It was a check for $200! I couldn't help but cry as I told George what had just happened. We could buy groceries and pay for James' school lunch for another week or two! 

The next week there was another check from another family in our church. And after that, there was a visit from another sweet couple - and another check, this time for $500! Our church secretary called me one week and said there was a check at the church office for us ... it was for $2000! We still don't know where that one came from - well, not the human form anyway. We do know where it was from! Our Father was taking care of us. He was "meeting our need." And then there was the time one of my spiritual daughters called and said she needed to stop by to see me. She brought a check for $500 and said God told her to sow that into us. Another spiritual daughter would take my grocery list to Walmart and refuse payment when she brought the groceries back by.

How can I convince you as I sit here and tell you that time after time, week after week, month after month - our church family and even people outside the church that we had befriended over the years stopped by or mailed us money ... and it was always just in time. Just in time for the school lunch program to be due; just as the telephones were scheduled to be cut off; just as the electricity was going to be cut off - always just in time. If you're doubting this - I have the deposit records to prove it's true.

We were careful to be faithful to tithe on everything that was given to us. I know our tithe record at church looked strange during all of that. There are a number of $20 payments and $50 payments - not consistent amounts, but I was so proud and so eager to put those tithing envelopes in the collection bag. I was so thrilled. To me, it was like bragging on Jesus every time I put a tithing envelope in the bag. It was like rubbing the devil's nose in his own mess every time I was able to pay titles. I couldn't have been more thrilled if I was putting in a $10,000 tithe check. I was so grateful. I was living what the Bible says God will do. How awesome is that!?

He Makes Me Lie Down In Green Pastures... or Not | Part 4

Okay, so we know even if we obey the Word, if we step out in faith like Peter did after we make sure it's Jesus calling us out of the boat - the storms are still going to come. Things are not just going to immediately calm down. In fact everything I've read tells me the storms are going to rage even more, the situation is going to get worse, the kids are going to act even more like the devil with a blue dress on, and it is definitely NOT going to be easy! So now what?

Philippians 4:19 MSG You can be sure that God will take care of everything you need, his generosity exceeding even yours in the glory that pours from Jesus. 

Now what indeed! Now you begin to find out what it means to tie a knot in the rope and hold on. Now you begin to learn what it was like in the days of Paul and Silas to have to pray at midnight and sign praises at midnight. I'm not just talking about midnight being a time of day, but I'm talking about midnight as in the darkest hour of your day, your week, your life ... you get the picture.

Now what ... is we learn to stand as we are commissioned to do in Ephesians 6:13. It tells us "having done all [the crisis demands], stand! What do I mean by stand? I mean just what I said. Stand - in faith. Stand, knowing God is still God regardless of what the situation looks like. Stand, knowing God is still in control regardless of what the medical report says. Stand, knowing God still has plans to prosper you -not to harm you- and bring you to a good end.

Take heart, my sweet friend. It isn't all storms and tsunamis when you walk with God! There are daily benefits of operating in His plan - of letting it be all about Him.

My husband's income was adversely (putting it very lightly) affected (as was most of the nation) by the events of September 11, 2001. He is an aircraft broker. Private and even corporate aviation took a major hit after 9/11, and for some reason it seemed to hit us harder than some of our industry friends.

We began to see businesses around us pick up and rebuild - but not ours. Oh, we sold an airplane every now and then - in fact we appeared to have moved into that land of "just enough." We would sell an airplane and make "just enough" to meet the bills until we could sell another one. It seemed to always be "just enough." What in the world was wrong? What were we doing wrong? I prayed. I fasted. I sent our names in to every prayer request list I could find and still nothing happned. "Lord, what am I doing wrong?" I prayed. I received no answers (a lesson learned during all of this is the teacher is always silent during a test!).

I felt like Paul when he said "I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty." I can tell you, it's better when you're living in plenty! What I haven't mastered but am working on is the rest of the verse that says..."I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want." You can laugh if you want, but it's really hard to have living in the land of "more than enough" for years and years and then all of a sudden find yourself not only in want but in need. I mean there were times we needed grocery money. We needed money to pay our electric bill and our phone bill and money to pay for our son's lunch at school. 

But God is good ... all of the time. And, He will supply your need - and mine.

He Makes Me Lie Down In Green Pastures... or Not | Part 3 Hairballs

Have you ever been so frustrated, so angry, felt so lost that you didn't know where to go or what to do next? Maybe you don't have a LizFranc fracture or some other physical thing going on, but when things don't seem to be going your way do you find yourself wanting to scream out like I did in the last chapter? It's okay, you know. Our Father knows how frustrated we get, and He knows and expects us to not like it. After all, He created us ... and get this ... He created us in His image! So I wonder does that mean He gets frustrated too? Well, I think He must. In fact, I know He does. 

Go back and re-read the story of Noah and why God was destroying the world. You can also go back to the stories of Abraham and Lot and Sodom and Gomorrah. I'd say yes, He gets frustrated with us humans. All through the story of Moses and the children of Israel, we read where time and time again God was angry with the children of Israel. Yet when they repented and called on Him, He forgave them and delivered them from their troubles.

So...I repented for being angry with God, and I repented for screaming at Him (yep, I really did literally scream out those things I said I felt like screaming). Then I waited and listened.

"And there came an angel of the LORD, and sat under an oak which was in Ophrah, that pertained unto Joash the Abiezrite: and his son Gideon threshed wheat by the winepress, to hide it from the Midianites. And the angel of the LORD appeared unto him, and said unto him, The LORD is with thee, though mighty man of valour. And Gideon said unto him, Oh my Lord, if the LORD be with us, why then is all this befallen us? and where be all his miracles which our fathers told us of, saying, Did not the LORD bring us up from Egypt? but now the LORD hath forsaken us, and delivered us into the hands of the Midianites. And the LORD looked upon him, and said, Go in this thy might, and thou shalt save Israel from the hand of the Midianites: have not I sent thee? And he said unto him, Oh my Lord, wherewith shall I save Israel? behold, my family is poor in Manasseh, and I am the least in my father's house." Judges 6:11-15 KJV

The story of Gideon and his reign as judge over Israel in Chapters 6 through 8 has been near to my heart for many years. Like many of you who are reading these words, I feel totally inadequate to do what God has called me to do. Not only do I feel inadequate, but like Gideon when God called me to ministry, I said, "But God, how can I minister to anybody? I am the least useable in my family, and although my Dad is a minister - he's just a minister. It's not like he's some super-preacher on TV or pastors a mega church. He's just one of your ministers. Besides I need too much ministering to myself to be trying to minister to someone else." Then God spoke to my heart and said, "I know you can't, but I can - through you." So I argued more, "But look at me. I'm not beautiful like Paul White or Judy Jacobs. It's not like I've got some amazing talent like Karen Wheaton or Cece Winans. I'm not even young at this point. Even those ministers today that aren't labeled "beautiful" in the world's eyes ... At least they've already been doing this for years. They started young and have built their ministry over many years. It's rather late for me to be starting out, don't you think? I was young, but now I am old!" And again God spoke to my heart and said, "You are not old! Moses was 80 when I called him to deliver the children of Israel, and Sarah was 90 when she gave birth to Isaac. You're nowhere near that old, so get over it." The more excuses I came up with, the more He reminded me of His word. So finally I relented and said, "Yes, Lord."

Then it began to hit me. It began to really hit me.I had just agreed to minister to God's people. The Bible says when someone has been given much, much will be required in return, and when someone has been entrusted with much, even more, will be required. To me that means if I'm given a ministry, which in my mind is MUCH, then God is going to require MUCH of me in return! Haaaaaacgh! (No, I didn't go to sleep on my keyboard. That's what it sounds like when a cat coughs up a hairball. Got it?  By the way, that's not my original noise. I hear it on a regular basis from someone very dear to me that God has allowed me to minister to. When I say something she doesn't necessarily want to hear ... I get that cat with a hairball sound!) Even now just thinking about God requiring MUCH of me makes shivers run up and down my spine. 

So then I'm thinking if I'm willing to obey Him, do my utmost to please Him, go where He wants me to go and stay where He wants me to stay ... my life should be pretty good, right? WRONG! It doesn't work that way. James 1:2 tells us not only will there be trials and tribulations, but we are to count it joy when they come! Haaaaaacgh! I don't know what you get out of that verse but to me if the Bible says "when trials and tribulations come" - that means they are probably already on the way! It also means there is definitely much required here, because I find it really difficult to count it all joy when I'm in the middle of a war - especially when it seems I'm the primary target of the artillery! And yet, He wants me to count it all joy! I'm the target of all the ammunition - and I'm supposed to be happy with it! Haaaaaacgh!